5 days with this cow

***warning***
this entry contains images surrounding the slaughter and butchering of a cow, her decomposing flesh, flies and maggots. if this is something you do not want to see you may not want to proceed any further than the writing of the first two paragraphs.

For years i have been talking about the relationship between life and death through ceramic forms that have an appearance of soft, supple flesh, decomposing and crusting surfaces and oozing orifices. here i had the opportunity to witness and document a female cow being slaughtered and butchered. at the end i bought her skin, took it home, felt what it was like to work with her flesh and then watched the process of it breaking down.

in cholul, as i believe it to be true in most small village in mexico the slaughtering and butchering process happens behind a local market or in someones back yard. in this case it was behind the local fruit stand. men carried her fresh meat from the back yard into the fruit stand to be sold as soon as light broke...about 7:30 am. The cow was still alive at 5:15 am. it all happens very quickly.




























































mexico, where life is less sterile and reality is more accessible.

















































































i felt compelled to take her skin with me

unfolding her and handling her for the first time was really beautiful. i could still feel the life that had been inside her only a few hours before.

after cleaning her and moving her to this rock/altar, i spent the rest of the day working her skin



































































i wanted to watch the process of decomposition, to experience her flesh changing from day to day. this little cage would protect her from the animals coming and carrying her off in the night





















the next morning i felt a little strange knowing she was out in the back yard. i worried throughout the night about what might happen with the flies and the smell of her rotting flesh. i thought maybe i had bitten off more than i could chew and that i should bury her or burn her that day, but my curiosity was just a little stronger than my reason.
































there was so much beauty taking place in the breaking down of her flesh, and a whole new system of life thriving in this environment.




































creating this situation made me extremely aware of the way nature comes in force to do its job. had i left her uncovered the vultures and other animals would surely have consumed her before this time, but i interfered with that part of the process. now...the quantity of maggots was frightening.






































i really felt a responsibility to this cow...entering into this process of her life and her death, and wanted to give her a ceremonious burial, to give her something more human, but in the end, she went out with the trash.